


But You Are Mine

by Dawntherabbit



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Smut, Homophobia, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 13:47:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22296940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawntherabbit/pseuds/Dawntherabbit
Summary: Mickey gets attacked and loses parts of his memory.Set a few years after Ian and Mickey get married.Multichapter
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 13
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

Freddy was crying, Debbie was running up and down the hall getting all of the laundry together. Carl was shouting some nonsense in the bathroom while Tami started to sing.

He rolled over and sighed. With a kiss on the forhead Ian's eyes blinked open. 

"Is it always so damn loud?" Mickey groaned.

Ian smiled wide pressing their foreheads together. "Yes, why do you ask that every single day?"

"Maybe I'm hoping the answer will change." 

Ian pulled away eyeing his husband up and down with a devilish smirk.  
"You love it, admit it."

The bottom of Ian's lip brushed against the soft flesh of his neck sending a shiver down his spine. He leaned his head over to give him better access.  
Ian pulled his body in closer lightly sucking at his neck.

A smooth touch ran down his torso. Every inch made his skin flush more and more. The touch stopped right before the elastic in his shorts. 

"Ian." He groaned, his neck still being attacked by warm breath and soft lips.  
Ian's hand plunged down giving him the friction he needed.  
It wasn't enough, he pushed into his grip watching Ian's eyes narrow.  
Ian removed his grip, sinking down between his legs. Both of his hands splayed across mickeys hips pushing down his boxers just enough to free him.

"I need my backpack!" Liam shouted banging on the door. 

Ian's hands jumped away like a teenage boy caught in his girlfriend's bed after dark. 

"Why the fuck is your backpack in here?" He let out throwing the blanket over his exposed body.

"You helped me with some math... remember!" Liam yelled.

He did remember but he didn't think a backpack was going to be a damn cockblock. 

"Next time go to lip!" He shouted through the door. 

Ian threw on his pants and found the dark blue backpack thrown on the floor. He cracked the door holding it through. "Do you have lunch?" Ian asked.

"I'm about to make it." Liam said grabbing his backpack.

"Wait, no I'll get it, just finish getting dressed."  
Ian shrugged and jumped out of the room throwing Mickey a sympathetic glance.

Kids. He rolled his eyes sinking into the bed.

He stretched out as far as he could, feeling every muscle in his body relax and contract. The warm soft covers filled with a mix of his and Ian's scent. He inhaled deeply.  
Their room was nice and neat, put together with a nice mix of both of them. Little traces of memories thrown all over the room. 

A picture of their wedding, Ian's book on heart diseases, a red tie for Mickey's work thrown across Ian's laptop. Some brass knuckles and protein bars.

The gold ring on his hand clinked on the bedframe as he stretched out. His skin still was flush pink from Ian's 'almost' touch, he was still uncomfortably hard. Need pulsed through him.

He let his hand trail down into his boxers. The ring pressed against his flesh, it was a cold contrast to his warm skin.

He imagined all of the things Ian was about to do to him, his warm wet mouth kissing him all the way down. Deep thrusting him with no effort. His big cock pushing it's way inside of him. Ian's satisfied face when he earned a moan. 

He gripped himself harder focusing on the quick buildup of pleasure. Slicked up and rough he pulled at himself. 

He came into his boxers after a few more tugs leaving his mind a jumbled mess of erotic thoughts that slowly faded into noiseless calm. His breathing evened out. 

Blinking his eyes open he looked around the room again. 

What a life he has.

He took a moment to himself before throwing the boxers in the laundry basket. Of course they sat on the very top in all their glory.

He grabbed some clothes from the closet, still naked. He slipping out into the bathroom. He quickly locked the door behind him turning on the water. 

Off came the dirt and grime from the previous day using whatever soap was laying around.  
This smelled pretty girly. This one smelled like lip... no thanks. This was definitely what ian was using. He went years with using whatever was thrown around maybe it was time to actually start buying a brand. 

He grabbed the plain bar soap next to the sink, this will do just fine. 

Someone rattled the door nob before the lock clicked opened.

"If you wanna see my hairy ass keep comin." He warned using the soap to wash his hair.

"Maybe I do?" Ian pulled back the shower curtain smirking. 

He looked down at Mickeys body admiring the way he soaped himself up. Bubbles sliding down his skin.

"You want a show or you gunna get clean?" 

He jumped in grabbing the bottle of soap. Testing the water with a foot he ducked into the water. "Co..coo...ld"  
Mickey turned the heat up watching Ian's face visibly relax. 

"Okay satan, let's burn our skin off."

Ian took a washcloth and soaped up his body, the blue foam coating his body. He grabbed Mickey and started washing him as well, scrubbing his back. The light scratches felt nice on his body, the warmth that cascaded off of both of them lulled his mind.

Ian spun him around so that they were facing eachother. He wrapped his arms around his neck giving him a slow deep kiss. Lightly they pushed against eachother, hips brushing as their jaws moved together. His heart fluttered, carefree. Ian's hand gripped his hip pushing him against the cold shower wall.

The shower started ran down over both of their faces. 

"I cant breath!" He gasped, his nose underwater.

Mickey grabbed the rag forcing it into Ian's armpit. "Trying to drown me Ian!" He laughed.

Ian half wrestled him. "You're going to get your nose broken if you slip in here." He looked concerned.

"You're going to get your nose broken by me ..kicking your ass!" 

Mickey jumped out of the tub onto the floor-mat. Quickly he grabbed a towel and ran to the bedroom, Ian hot on his tail.

Playfully they pushed eachother around. Mickey crashed into the closet door just to trip Ian up on the bed pinning him down. Mickeys hands gripped Ian's arms and his knees dug into Ian's thighs. 

Ian easily wiggled loose flipping him over.  
He couldn't lie, Ian was massive. He could probably pin his whole body with one arm and one leg. For some reason that thought made his skin burn.

"I win." Ian whispered in Mickeys ear.

Mickey smiled under the full weight of his husband, he was rewarded with a forhead kiss. 

"We have to get ready to go!" 

"I left my clothes in the bathroom man."

"Well go get them!" Ian said still pinning him down. 

Ian looked over around the room when his eyes focused on the cum stained boxers. 

"You couldn't wait?"

"You're a dick." He said playfully. 

"You want dick?" Ian's eyebrow shot up. 

"You're!" Mickey enunciated. 

"You... want? Dick?" Ian repeated


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy and a bit smutty

Mickey grinned ear to ear unable to hide his excitement "Yes that's what i said."

Ian kicked their towels off of the bed.  
Before he could say anything Ian's body crashed into his. He created hard friction grinding their hips together letting out slow deep breaths. The only thing in the universe that existed was Ian's full rhythmic movements pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

It didn't take anytime at all before he was digging his nails in begging for more. He whined looking up at Ian.

Ian easily flipped him over. His hips pushed into the matress as Ian spread Mickeys legs apart. Quickly he raised himself onto his knees and elbows. 

"Get on me," he begged. He was going to combust.

He grunted as Ian pushed into him. He could never give this up, never. Thrust by thrust he could feel himself losing control. 

He pushed back onto him impatiently, his knees pushing into the mattress as he slammed down. He was close, so close. 

"Slow down, wait." Ian panted."I want to see your face," He said softly. Ian stilled him with his hands pulling out slowly. 

Mickey rolled over to look up at his lover. Ian's eyes met his and his face soften. All impatience fading. 

A splatter of freckles graced his face, bright red hair, and eyes he knew so well. Ian's hard jawline, he knew what it felt like to hit it, to bite it, to trace it with his finger tips.

This was the person he came home to every night, the person who calmed all his worries, someone who would be there even when he was old and grey. 

They both got like this every so often. Some memory or feeling would well up inside of them and they just wanted to enjoy eachother. Feel every second, savor every look. It use to make him feel weak, something he had to hide, but after being together for this long all of that vanished. He didn't have to hide himself. Ian would always be there for him, through thick and thin and all of that shit. He knew he wanted this the moment they were first together he never thought it would actually become real. Nothing in the world could be better.

His hands softly stroked his face tracing his freckles. This is real, He thought.

Ian moved slow and deep making him gasp for air. Ian's hands seemed to trace every part of him. From his neck down to his hips, one hand started to quickly stroke him while he thrusted slowly. It felt unbelievable. 

"I'm-" Mickey gasped gripping at the bed sheets. His back arched as his jaw clenched. He spilled into Ian's hands savoring the last thrusts that filled him. Everything went silent and he held onto it for as long as he could before it slipped away.

They faced eachother, a sweaty tangled mess. 

"I love you." Ian grinned, his green puppy eyes   
searching him. 

"I love you too." Mickey stroked his hair. He didnt know how but everyday he fell deeper.


	3. Chapter 3

"I can't go in there, you're brothers in there." Mickey searched the room for boxers.

"Where are your other clothes?" Ian looked in the empty closet and empty dresser. 

Mickey looked over at the pile in the laundry basket. It was so full, they just never had time to wash them and he always forgot. Mt laundry. 

Ian sighed. He threw on some pants banging on the bathroom door. "Hey I need to come in to get Micks clothes, stop jacking off!"

"Fuck you!" He heard Lip shout, "Come in!" 

~~~

Ian cracked some eggs frying them up while Mickey swept the kitchen. The place was really a lot nicer when people actually cleaned. Fuck he forgot the basket again!

"Mickey the maid." Lip said watching him clean.

He flipped lip off putting the broom down. 

"Maybe if you guys picked up your shit-"

"Calm down Debbie I was actually just about to do the rest of the laundry."

"Can you get our shit?" Ian interjected. 

Lip grabbed their basket tossing it in the washer, luckily his boxers were hidden.

"You dont work today?" Ian asked. He flipped the eggs putting bread in the toaster.

"Nope, me and Tami got the day off, she wants Freddy alone time. Something about motherly bonding." 

"Oh great you can hang with us." Ian offered.

"What kinda stuff are you guys getting into today?" 

"Mostly painting rainbows and wearing glitter." Mickey quickly said. "Might go buy some big dildos." He raised an eyebrow. 

Lip looked between them wide eyed until Ian burst with laughter. 

"Its too fucking early." Lip laughed.

"I was thinking about watching a game, I know a guy that could get us in." Ian happily said while handing Mickey a plate of food.

"Yeah what guy?" Mickey grumbled munching on his toast. 

"A guy I use to work with." Ian gave lip his plate of food eyeing them both while silently sitting down. "At the dance club." He quickly added.

Mickeys leg shook under the table tapping on the floor. He took a big bite filling his mouth instead of replying. 

"Sounds good as long as Mickeys not going to beat him to death." 

Ian kissed the top of Mickeys head before sitting at the table. "You wont, right?" 

"No, but I can't promise anything about his kneecaps. " 

Lip smiled between the two of them.

"You haven't worked there in years how do you still know this guy?" Mickey shoved more food in his mouth.

"I hang out with him every so often, Logan? Remember?" Ian tapped on his chin. "We went to the bar two weeks ago."

He vaguely recalled half a dozen times Ian has hung out with some guys. He usually waved him away not letting jealousy get the best of him. 

"Oh yeah, I remember," He lied. "Cool."

They walked to the stadium sharing a blunt. 

"I'm addicted to booze not grass," lip mentioned taking a long hit.

"No one gives a shit." Mickey joked.

"Hey so if I was gay.." lip followed.

"If?" Ian laughed. He shoved his brother taking back the blunt. 

"What kind of weed is this?" lip asked. His steps slowed.

"Medical grade." Ian's eyes were red and half closed. 

"How would a gay guy rate me, I can't ask Ian because the whole brother thing." 

"You want me. To tell you. If you're hot?" Mickey said each word with a pause making sure he was hearing him right. 

Lip laughed, it was contagious. They all fell in the grass giggling. 

Mickey sat up with Ians head in his lap while lip sat across from him. 

Ian blew a cloud of smoke up while Mickey watched it disappear into the sky. It was one of those rare days where it was warm enough to be outside all day without freezing or frying. 

"I dont know, I guess I would fuck you if you asked nicely." He watched the sun shine off the buildings in the far distance.

The wind swept through his hair, the sunlight warmed his face, the weight in his lap was comforting. 

"Hey man you can't just fuck my brother!" 

"I don't know, might be worth my time." 

Ian smirked pulling Mickeys face down to give him a closed mouth slow kiss. Their noses brushed before he released him. 

Mickey weaved their fingers together. Ian's thumb smoothing over his hand. 

"So how exactly did you guys end up hooking up, I dont think you've ever told me?" Lip rubbed his hands through the blades of grass. 

"We don't really talk about that either." Ian admitted sitting up. He rubbed his forhead thinking. 

"Well." Mickey started. Ian and lip leaned in with interest. "This fucker broke into my house." 

"You stole a gun!" Ian defended. 

"Who. Is. telling. the story??" Mickey playfully shoved him. "So this motherfucker has a tire iron on my back demanding shit from me in my house. So I shove him down and we are wrestling. I get the tire iron free and grab it forcing him down about to bash his skull in-." 

"-And then," ian interrupts " I'm bracing myself to die and notice Mickey has a hard on." Ian giggled. "We share this look... and yeah. "

"Look?" 

"Like when a girl wants to go?" 

Lip nodded his mouth still hanging open. "You almost killed Ian?" 

They both shared a look and shrugged. "It wouldn't have killed him, just hurt a lot."

"That makes it better?" 

"Maybe we should get to the stadium." Ian quickly changed the subject.

"My legs are weak. " lip admitted getting up like an 80 year old


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey gets hurt.

They made it to the stadium, a back entrance labeled 'Staff'. It was a big metal wired fence with a locked door. It was empty.

A guy came up with pretty blond hair, he was slender and lean with bright blue eyes. His teeth were so white they were almost blue. He wore a white uniform with black boots.

He eyed Mickey up and down while waving everyone over. Ian gave him a hug and passed a bag over, which the guy shoved down his uniform in a flash.

"Nice to see you again Mickey!" Logan said in an upbeat voice, he vaguely remembered him. 

"Hey babe, just go to section 4A." He said to Ian waving at Lip.

'Babe', the word rang in his head.   
"Babe" Mickey mocked. Ian rolled his eyes.

"Call me after let's hang out sometime!" The guy yelled as they blended in with the rest of the crowd. 

Ian threw an arm over Mickey's shoulder leading him to the seats. Lip followed close.

The place was packed. People surrounded them from every corner. Too many people, Mickeys skin started to crawl. He tried to focus on Ian's arm leading him. 

They walked past someone drunkenly yelling and Mickey quickly grabbed his beer, the guy was too drunk to even notice. 

They sat down squished up like sardines. The seats weren't half bad, especially for a half bag of weed.  
Mickey drank down his stolen beer and watched all the players. Their team looked like it was off to a bad start.

They cheered for their team, even stared yelling and shouting at the end. He forgot how much he enjoyed sports he was too busy with life to actually relax and watch. The clink of the bat hitting the ball echoed around the stadium. 

He grabbed Ian's hand bringing it up to his mouth for a kiss. Ian looked over at him beaming. Lip was shouting as if the players could actually hear him.

Ian joined lip yelling st the players. "Get your shit together!" He was cute.

He got lost in his face. Without fail he could stare at him for hours as those green eyes engulfed him. Even with the crowds yelling and the game going he let himself get lost. 

"I love you." He let out barely above a whisper.

"I love you too." Ian mouthed with a smile.

The crowd roared, their team made the final home run, the winning last ditch play.  
They jumped up from their seats shouting.   
His whole body lifted in joy as he jumped throwing a fist into the air. 

He should have put money down.

Ian linked their hands slowly moving down the steps following lip.

The crowd of people seperated Lip from them, they clung onto eachother for dear life. Shuffling though the crowd Mickeys skin started to crawl again, too many people touching him, too many people surrounding him. 

"Fucking queers" he heard.  
His head quickly snapped trying to narrow down the motherfucker who dared. "Fa**ot!" The same person yelled. 

His hands shook with anger, his blood boiled, he was ready.  
Ian looked over his shoulder curiously. It was too loud to explain and there were too many people to find this asshole. He gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

They left the stadium casually looking around for Lip. They walked over to the staff entrance where Lip was leaned against a light pole messing around on his phone. He held it in, didn't want to ruin a good day.

"Couldn't wait asshole!" Ian let go of Mickey's hand walking up to hos brother. Mickey lit a cigarette watching the brothers talk. His body was buzzing from the adrenaline mixed with the game. The the urge to murder calmed down with each drag.

Across the parking lot a man rushed over to Ian looking determined with something in his hand. A gun? Without thinking he ran as hard as he could. His feet hitting the pavement so hard he could feel it in his knees.

"Ian!" He yelled crashing into him, both of them toppled down to the hard concrete. Ian's eyes stared up at him wide with questions. Quickly he used his arms to cover Ian's head.  
If this was the way he went out it wouldn't be too bad. Fuck it.

He felt a big object knock against his head, hard enough to make his whole body go numb.   
Everything went white before he realized someone was yelling. 

His body started to get feeling again, limb by limb it spread through him. Everything ached nothing hurt. He was surprisingly calm.

He looked up and saw lip and Ian rush up to someone behind him. The crunch of a bone being broken echoed in his head. Ian and lip yelled before he heard a final kick followed by the crack of broken ribs. 

lip grabbed one of his arms and Ian grabbed the other helping him to his feet. He leaned heavily on both of them trying not to drag. They all quickly hobbled him to the sidewalk leaving whoever behind. 

"Hes lucky I didn't kill him." Ian's voice sounded foreign, a tone he hadn't heard in years. Filled with so much rage he almost asked him what was wrong.

"Can you walk?" lip asked.

Mickey tried to stand on his own but his legs felt heavy. He shook his head, his arms started to feel heavy too."I thought he had a gun," he admitted sighing with relief.

"Sit down and follow my finger." They slowly sat him down on the sidewalk, Ian kneeling infront of him. His hair was so bright in the sun but damn he was pale. Can gingers even tan or do theh go straight to burning?

"Pay attention Mickey."

He watched Ian's finger intently, he couldn't keep up. Ian then gently pushed on his head moving it all directions.

Did Ian have blood on his shirt? Red soaked his sleeve and shoulder.

"Blood?" He let out "why....," 

"Hey just listen to me." Ian's emt voice came out. It was calm and clear, a stark contrast to his earlier tone. "Can you push against my finger?" He heard the words, he even raised a hand but everything just felt so heavy.

"Is that bad?" Lip asked looking worried. His eyes darted from Mickey to Ian over and over. He said something and lip pulled out his phone.

"How do you feel? Does your head hurt?" 

"I feel.." He couldn't find the words. He didn't feel much. He just wanted to look at Ian and his red hair. Why did he look so serious? Mickey reached for Ian's hand but fell short, he felt his back start to give out.  
Suddenly he was looking up at the clouds. The blue sky went on forever. Someone squeezed his hand.

The colors of the world became muted, slowly everything turned from bright to grey to black. The pressure of Ian's hands faded while the whole world dissapeared.


	5. Chapter 5

"Ian?" Mickey spun around with his arms stretched out. "where are you?" 

Everything was off, he still couldn't see no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't even feel. Desperately he started to run, eventually he would run into something, anything.  
It felt like an eternity, he kept shouting over and over. 

Suddenly he could see.

He was standing ontop of a dark lake surrounded by darkness. Everything was silent but he was calm, all his worry seemed to hang above the lake. He started walking and with each step he felt more and more tired until his feet dragged on the ground. 

He could sink if he wanted to, the lake was warm, it radiated heat. He willed his hand to dip in the water and a blue light started to glow underneath the waves. The light pulsed with each footstep.  
He sat down on top of the lake watching the blue radiate with each touch of his hand. His fingers waded through the water.

He couldn't remember how he got there, nor did he care.

It was everything and at the same time it was nothing. If he could just dive down it might make sense.   
He put his foot in the water kicking his leg, it dragged along leaving a calming blue in its wake. Something stopped him from going all the way in. A feeling welled up in his bones. Hes waiting for someone, something else needs him.   
Quickly he stood up looking around for whatever it was. The only thing was silence, the blue lake, and the black that followed.

He felt a jolt in his chest. He looked to his right. A black fog rolled over to him, it called to him in a different way. This too was home but unlike the blue lake the fog came with pain, uncertainty, even sorrow. 

All the warmth from the lake vanished. He ran to the cold dark fog. The closer he got the colder it got until his whole body was frozen. His head hurt more than anything. he could turn away and go back to the blue lake but   
then he heard it "Mickey," Ian sobbed. 

So he held onto it, the pain that overshadowed everything except this mans voice. The lake vanished. The calm blue lights faded away.

A hand rested on his chest. Wait no it was moving. It pressed on him over and over hammering though him. A pain shot through him as he took an inhale like it was the first time he ever used his lungs. He gasped, his eyes opened wide. The blur of a figure smiled down on him.

"We got him." He heard

He felt a searing in the back of his head. He started to scream, the pain was unbearable. The figure held him down and someone stuck something in his arm. He fell asleep instantly. 

He opened his eyes and he was surrounded by bright hospital lights. 

He looked around a few people were slumped over on chairs in the corner of the room. He couldn't quite see them clearly.

"I..." he tried to say but his throat was so dry he couldnt form the words.

He moved around more attempting to sit up but his chest felt like someone threw a hammer on it. 

He relaxed back down. There were plastic tubes in his arms and a hospital tag on his wrist. 'Mickey Gallagher ' the band read. 

That doesn't look right. A purple blanket was on the side of him, he pulled it up to his neck.

He opened his eyes again and he could sense someone looking at him. It was a kid, 13ish. 

"Mickey?" 

"That's me." He said his voice raw.

"You almost died." He said as a matter of factly. 

"Is that why my head hurts." 

"Is dying painful?" 

"Yes, it feels like you got smacked with a rock." His voice seemed to glide a bit easier. 

"They had to cut your skull open." 

He reached up in the back of his head and felt the tight stitching. His whole head felt cold and numb.  
"Cool." 

He didn't know what kind of drugs he was on but he felt pretty relaxed about the whole thing. 

"Where's..." who was he looking for? Who was this kid? The more he searched his mind the more the inside of his head hurt.

"He's in the bathroom, I'll go get him. I'm glad you didn't die." 

The kid dissapeared, two sets of foot steps hurried back. Heavy steps followed by light ones. He wanted to stay awake to see who he was waiting for but exhaustion took over and his eyes quickly shut.

He opened his eyes again and the room was filled with natural light. His hand was being held, he could sense the warmth of someone next to him.   
"Mickey? "

"Hey," he mumbled blinking his eyes open. Was that Ian?   
He down at him like he just saved the world. Tears streamed down his face. Mickey willed his hand to not pull away. He looked around the room and it was empty, he let his hand stroke the red heads hair. His hair was kind of greasy like he hadn't showered for a while. 

Ian nuzzled into his chest soaking his hospital gown. 

"Hey." He let out forcing his eyes to stay open.   
Ian's body shook before his breathing evened. He couldn't think, every time he tried his head throbbed with pain. Ian lifted his head, Mickeys hand fell away. 

Someone else walked in the room and quickly walked back out. 

Ian's eyes were bloodshot red, his face was unshaven and the bags under his eyes were purple. He had the beginning of some crows feet. 

"You look like shit." Mickey smiled. It broke his heart to see him like this. He had never seen a person look so sad, in his world that would get you murdered.

Ian let out a laugh wiping his eyes smiling as big as he could. 

"You should see yourself." 

Ian's hand reached up to his face brushing against his cheek tenderly. It was weird being so touchy but he loved it. It felt freeing to be so open in a place other than a small bedroom.

A doctor came in asking a hundred questions and he couldnt answer half of them. 

"What year is it?"   
He searched and searched but he couldn't remember. 

"Where do you live?"   
"Well sometimes on Ian's floor, sometimes in my house."

"What year did you get married?"

"Well I was 17, its complicated. " Mickey wondered where Svetlana could be but didn't care enough to ask.

"No to Mr. Gallagher." 

"What?" 

"Ian."

"Hes my.. friend. "

"Franny?"

"Who? Don't know them."

The doctor pulled everyone to the side speaking quickly to the Gallagher's waiting outside. 

"Hey dude." Lip held a kid that must have been a few years old. Debbie even stopped by with some 7 year old.

He didn't say anything. Maybe his brain was broken, either way he wasn't going to freak out infront of them.

"Uncle Mickeys brain got busted up." lip told the kid.

Uncle???

"How did it happen?" He eventually asked  
He kept his eyes closed blocking out the light.

Ian sat down next to him. "Well, some asshole got a brick and threw it at your head cracking your skull ope. You had to get surgery. So me and lip beat him until he couldn't walk." He whispered. 

"Well technically he was aiming for Ian and you jumped infront of him." Lip added. 

"Uncle Mickey!" A little red head girl said.   
He searched her face trying to find the name. She looked cute and so happy he felt something in him jolt. He should know her.

"Hey kid." He said. The girl gave him a pat on the stomach. Without realizing he smiled at her

"Who was that?" Mickey asked quietly to Ian as she skipped over to her mother. "Some cousin?"

Ian's eyebrows furrowed. 

The doctor came in. "Can everyone leave except Ian Gallagher."

Everyone stalked out of the room watching them though the door window. Pairs of eyes stated intently at them.

"We suspect you have some brain damage that involves memory loss." The doctor lifted some papers. "To my best guess, 6 years."

"Years?!?" Mickey tried to sit up but failed. 

Ian nodded quietly.

"The good news is that the surgery was a success and we don't see any more swelling on your brain!" The doctor handed Ian a thick packet of papers. " As long as you take it easy for a while you should be fine."

"When will I get my memories back?" He almost shouted.

"Things like these are tricky, maybe soon maybe never."

Ian's face turned from calm to horror, like someone just lit his house on fire. Ian chatted with the doctor more but he just blocked it out. He put his hands over his face rubbing his temple before he noticed something on his hand. A pretty gold band wrapped around his ring finger. He stared at it for what seemed like ever. His mouth hung open as he carefully took it off to examine it.   
Engraved on the inside were the words 'Ian + Mickey 2020' his heart jolted. Carefully he slid the ring back on, he felt naked without it. 

"We'll figure this out." Ian said reassuringly walking back over to him.


	6. Chapter 6

He opened the door to Ian's room. "Did you change rooms?" Wasn't there three beds last time, he thought.  
"How long...?"   
"About a week"

Mickey walked over to the random stuff scattered, for some reason he could tell some things were definitely his. He picked up a red neck tie. This is mine, he thought.

"No how long have I lived here"  
"Years, WE have been here for years. Together." Ian insisted.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Ian walked up to him. He smoothed the silk tie in his hand setting it down. Ian led him to the bed.

He thought back, "Sleeping on your floor, you just got back from the army." 

Ian's eyebrows raised. "Its fine it's fine. I'll walk you through it... you might not like some of it," he warned, " but.. its fine" he rambled nervously. He sounded like he was talking to himself more than Mickey.

Mickey tossed a pillow on the floor. 

"Sleep in the bed idiot." Ian said. Mickey shrugged, he slowly got into the bed and looked at the dresser, three pill bottles for him and three pill bottles labeled 'Ian Gallagher'.

"You get hurt too, what are these meds for?" 

"I'm bipolar." Ian closed his eyes and threw an arm around Mickey. "We can talk about it in the morning I haven't slept for like a week. I love you" he mumbled. 

His whole body went rigged with the confession. He shouldn't be so surpised due to them being married, but it felt like that was the first time he heard it. 

Ian's breathing grew heavy and even. He looked around the room. In what world could Ian say that so casually? Six years from carrying him home from a club all tweaked out to marriage and 'I love you'? How could his life change so much? 

The house was pitch black but somehow he could tell where everything was as he navigated the house. Take a right because that's a pile of clothes, a dresser was there, chairs.. he even could find the door handle to the bathroom without even looking. He flushed the toilet and came back with no issue sliding in next to a sleeping Ian.   
Ian nuzzled closer wrapping his arm around him again. His arm was a heavy comfort.


	7. Chapter 7

Stepping up to the mirror he wiped off the grime with a washcloth.  
He leaned over staring down at the sink, it shouldn't be this hard...  
Fuck it, he looked up.

Familiar blue eyes looked back at him dilated from all of the pain meds.

Immediately he noticed how bad he needed to shave.

He looked around his eyes, hints of age started to form. Fine lines randomly scattered around his face, where he smiled, where he glared. 

He was scruffy, his hair line was receded by half an inch and the back of his head had a small shaved patch that was slightly hidden.  
He carefully touched it. The area was completely numb, little bumps of almost dissolved stitches poked out at him.

He stepped back and he looked rough. Like he had done some shit and seen some shit. He thought he looked harsh before. He gained about 15 pounds of muscle and there were scars he had never seen before, not to mention a tattoo across his chest 'Ian Gallagher'.

"What the fu-" Ian would have to explain this one. It looked crooked as shit almost like a prision tattoo. Maybe his cousin did it.

The harshness of his body made him look way more grown up than he could recall. Any hint of roundness gone. He quickly threw his shirt back on studying his face, he found a razor and shaved the stubble, it helped. He felt a bit more comfortable in his own skin.

He went through the dresser not knowing what belonged to who. More pictures littered the shelves along with a bag of weed, some money, and a pretty badass looking shiv. 

Liam walked in the room.  
"Hey"  
"Sup" he awkwardly said.  
"So you got your brain scrambled?"  
He shrugged rolling a joint.  
"You owed me money." Liam stated.  
"Nice try. Aren't you suppose to be in school?"  
"It's sunday. I'm just all by myself downstairs."

Mickey sighed, "let's watch some movies I guess."  
~~~  
"He shot her while she was naked!" Liam pointed exasperated.  
"Pretty badass right?"  
"I am concerned."

"Hey so... what kinds guy am I?" Mickey asked trying not to seem like he cared too much.

"What?"

"Like am I nice? Am I selling on street corners , murdering people, what?" 

"You're nice." Liam said in a matter of fact way. "You taught me how to break a lock, get rid of fingerprints, cook macaroni, and you told me where Ian's secret stash of candy is."

"Sound like me." Mickey nodded, he must have liked this kid.

"It is you." Liam popped in another movie "it's your favorite series."

"Avengers???"

He watched all the movies in awe making lunch half way through while Liam showed him the boxed macaroni and Ian's secret stash hidden in the broken breadmaker under the sink. 

They ate sandwiches made of mystery meat and macaroni. They even shared a snickers bar watching black panther stand up for wakanda. 

They wasted the day watching movies and eating junk, he felt normal for the first time since he got back. 'It is you' he spun the thought around.

Lip walked in the house and he decided to turn in upstairs. They shared a quick wave as he dissapeared.

He grabbed an ice pack putting it on his head before letting his eyes shut woundering why he wanted to go swimming.


	8. Chapter 8

He woke up to Ian poking him holding out his medication.   
He quickly took the meds. His head was killing him.

"Don't I got to work or something?" He grumbled.

"No, Mickey you have a brain injury. You don't have to work for a month." 

"How the hell are we going to buy shit? "

"I make enough to cover everything, don't forget Debbie and Carl also live here."

"What do you do?" He sat up in bed reaching out to Ian. It felt strange but natural at the same time. Ian gave him a quick kiss. 

"Hey you wanna shower together?" Mickey asked, Ian ignored him.

"I'm an EMT. " He knew what his uniform looked like for some reason. 

"A professional huh? What do you do with all that cash?" Mickey was half joking. He threw on a shirt as Ian quickly threw on his uniform. He tried to not let him be bothered by being ignored.

"Savings." 

"For what?" 

"Our future."

Mickey softened almost stuttering. "What kind a future do I want Gallagher?" Right now he was just taking everything day by day. Wasn't this his ultimate future?

Ian turned around and smirked. They were feet apart but even with this banter he felt miles and miles apart... well more like 6 years apart. They seemed to move so easy together but he seemed to be more confused than ever.

"You want to live somewhere warm, in a big house, with-" Ian's face dropped. 

"With what?" 

"With kids and a pool, by a good school." 

Ian was being careful, it made sense. Too much too fast.  
The vicodin clouded his mind so he had to pause after every thought.

"This Mickey guy is sure making me look like a pussy." He half joked. 

~~~

"How did I purpose?"

"Ian purposed," Debbie said. "After you fucked some guy." 

Mickey nodded. "Okay, I can get with that. " Mickey laughed "Wait you're serious?"

"Yeah you were petty and jealous and I won you back after beating the guy up. "

"True love in all its glory." 

~~~

Mickey let himself look in the mirror again. His hair starting to grow back, the stitches almost completely gone. He didn't look so pale anymore.

"Franny misses you." Ian leaned in the doorway watching Mickey study his own face, how long had he been there?

"Fran... oh yeah debbie's kid."

"You should see her tomorrow."

"Okay I live literally right next to her." He pointed at the wall. 

"Yeah, but listen Mickey, you're her uncle. She grew up with you taking her out for icecream, watching shows with her, playing with her."

"What?" He rubbed his head. He didn't hate kids... he just didn't think he would go out of his way for one. 

"Fine, I'm about to take a shower you wanna join?"

"Just say hi." Ian quickly walked away.

~~~

Mickey turned his attention to the little red head at the table. Debbie was checking over her homework.

"Uhh hey" he awkwardly let out.

"Hi uncle Mickey." She smiled up at him with a big toothy grin.

"Uhh you guys want to go get icecream?" He scratched the back of his head.

"Yup," Debbie answered watching her daughter jump around the sidewalk. 

He couldn't describe it but she was adorable, from her small shoes to her cute little chubby cheeks, he didn't remember her but something in him did.  
The awkwardness faded as a deep familiarity took over. He did know her, he could see her smiling face 100 times over in different places, mostly being held by Debbie or Ian.

His head pounded at the memory, he had to stand against a tree holding his head. It passed by in seconsa but it feel like hours. Thousands and thousands of images eventually filled his head. Franny as a toddler to Franny now. All with her smiling, crying, laughing, singing, being held, eating. Even one where he tossed her in the air. 

Debbie didn't ask questions and they kept walking like nothing happened. She must have known him well. 

"One day a boy pushed her down and you ran after him. Six whole blocks, the boy never came around again. You might have murdered him," she laughed. "Well, then she stuck to you like glue. You didn't seem to mind even when you complained about it." She ordered them all icecream, he payed with the cash Ian left him. 

"Uncle Mickey will take care of it," Debbie impersonated his voice . "Uncle Mickey will find that boy and break his legs." 

"Uncle Mickey did break his legs." He told Franny


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey gets some unpleasant memories back

He held the picture as if it would break in his hands, if it broke would this life vaish? Would he even have proof that this life exiated?  
Food in the fridge, no problem. It was strange being taken care of, not having to worry about anything.  
it's nice to have a whole mess of people who seemed like they actually gave a shit. If hes in his room too long someone eventually knocks 'you good?'. They even reminded him to take his pain meds.

The picture shined in the light. He looked at himself smiling wide. He couldn't remember ever looking so happy. They had inverted tuxes, there was confetti thrown in the background, they held hands confidently. 

He looked between the red head in the picture and the one sitting infront of him. 

He let himself really look this time. The last few days he was in a haze of vicodin and confusion, tonight everything started to get a little clearer. 

Ian got bigger, like could probably throw him over his shoulder with no problem bigger. His jaw looked like it could take a hit and not budge. 

The more he looked over at the real Ian the more nervous he became. The more he looked the more his mind ran. Those arms could lift him against a wall.. that neck was begging to be bit... his mouth.. when was the last time they shared anything more than a quick kiss.

"You okay?" Ian gave him a confused stare.

Mickey handed him the picture and he placed it on the bedside table. 

"Hey you wanna look at-" 

Mickey gently grabbed his face and pushed their lips together. Ian easily took control of the situation grabbing his hips scooting him down.

Before he knew it his back was being pressed into the bed with Ian ontop of him. This felt right. 

Butterflies rose his his stomach as Ian's hand reached down into his pants expertly stroking him. That was fast, too fast. 

"You wanna get on me?" Mickey said between kisses. He needed him, he needed something.  
His hands weren't enough, he needed all of him. 

Ian ignored his whimpers and pleas and continued to stroke. It had been so long and it felt amazing but at the same time this sinking feeling started to fill his body.

He gripped at him like he would run away if he didn't. He focused on the weight on top of him, Ians mouth on his neck the hand around him, the pressure building. 

It didn't take long, he came with a sigh and for a moment the bad feeling muted until he regained his senses.

He opened his eyes to see Ian throwing a tissue away. 'That was it' he almost said.

"Come here." Mickey sat up beckoning him back to bed. He tried his best smile, he never had to beg before.

Ian rolled in next to him Mickeys hands went straight for his belt before Ian stopped him.  
"Eh just not tonight?"

"Since when are you okay with getting me off but don't want me to return the favor, last week you were telling me to suck your dick whenever you wanted." 

"That was six years ago." He simply said. 

Mickey paused before pulling away. He forgot for a second... Maybe they had slowed down after six years.

He stared at Ian's face long and hard. Somehow he knew he was hiding something. With that came the feeling in his chest rising up again.

~~~~  
He took a thick blue photo album offered up by Ian. "We also have videos we can watch later." 

Gallagher's and even some Milkovichs were in the album. Lillies and a tall cake, white and gold chairs, it looked like something out of a dream. He never really thought about a wedding but this one looked perfect. His first wedding was pure hell, he was so wasted he couldn't even tell you where the thing was held.

He let his eyes linger on every detail, it helped distract his mind. He stopped at the photo of them kissing. People stood up and cheered while they shared their first kiss as a married couple. The arch framed them perfectly. His fingertips traced the arch. He wanted to remember this. He wanted to know what it felt like. 

"I love you." Ian said casually squeezing his arm.

The album hit the floor as he curled into a ball holding his head  
'This isn't me anymore' it flashed though him like a lightning bolt searing though his head.  
'I'm not broken!'  
'You said we needed money.' His heart sank. 'I don't want your money!' He heard himself say looking at the man he loved break his heart over and over and over.  
His whole body shook and his head started pounding. 'I'll wait for you'

"Dont touch me!" He smack Ian's hand away jumping up. 

"You did porn?" He accused. "You left me in fucking Mexico?" He paced around the room trying to remember the details. "In prision??" 

"Mickey..I...I" Ian stood up with his arms out. "That was all years ago, we dealt with all of -"

"Shut the fuck up." He didn't want to talk he needed to go. 

He grabbed a pillow and stomped downstairs tossing it on the couch wishing he could go further but with the way his head was hurting he would pass out before he made it out of the door.

He replayed the memories. Ian standing infront of a car they stole. Ian standing outside of the house. Ian standing in his old house.  
It overtook him, it all felt fresh. 

For once he let himself cry. Over and over he came back fighting for this person, and over and over Ian failed him... he felt it all.

How did he become someone who let himself get hurt so much... it didn't feel like him. He felt alone and abandoned just like he had when Ian left the first time.  
No wait this was worse. 

He found comfort in the quiet of the living room. It felt nice to be left alone with his thoughts. His eyes finally dried and the salty sting on his cheeks burned. The pillow rested in his arms before he let himself pass out.

~~ 

He woke up early and went straight to the bedroom where Ian's was startled awake. The door banged loudly on the wall

"Explain. " He demanded standing in the room, the sun barely risen.

"Jesus. Give me a second to open my eyes." 

Mickey stood there with his arms crossed watching Ian sit up. The sun caught on his hair leaving parts of it a shiny deep red. He stretched out shirtless before turning his body to face him. He tried to not notice how his biceps flexed pushing himself over.

"Mickey, I'm bipolar. That means if I'm not on medication I do crazy shit. Like star in a porn."

"You did what?" Carl walked by the door. 

"Leave." Mickey demanded. He slammed the door closed. He knew what it meant. Slowly his brain caught up to the conversation. He knew what medications Ian was on, he knew what time he had to take them, he even could now remember the doctors name.

"What about Mexico?" 

"I almost went. " Ian admitted standing up. He took Mickeys hand. Ian was so tender, he was being so honest he couldn't help but soften his gaze. "I'm glad I didn't because we would be in prision in Mexco somewhere. " Ian's head hing looking at the floor then met his eyes. "I never told you that before. It's not something we talk all about."

Mickey nodded not understanding the full situation. He only remembered Ian leaving he didn't even know how they got in those situstions or why. 

"So you're getting your memories back?" 

Suddenly he was wrapped up in Ian's arms. One of his hands stroking his head the other holding him in close. He could hear Ian's heart if he tried. It was comforting but it felt like too much. He pushed away.

He got back a confused look. He was confused himself. Half of him craved Ian's touch so bad he couldnt stand it the other half fell into defensive mode. Dont get to close, dont show too much. His head was spinning.

"Why don't we hit the grocery store since you decided to wake me up so early."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelingss

A box of cereal fell in the cart. Ian's hand easily reached the top shelf.  
He got Mickeys favorite. He was surpised when Ian tossed it in the basket. The whole cart was full of his favorite foods mixed with other nessesities. 

It was shocking. All of these little things that surpised him but really shouldn't. He wanted to ask Ian what his favorite cereal was before he stuck to his guns and brought up what he really needed to talk about.

"We haven't banged since i got out of the hospital." 

Ian tripped over himself catching himself at the last moment. 

A few women quickly turned their heads to face them before meeting Mickeys glare and going back to whatever they were doing. 

"Can we talk about it later," Ian coughed. 

Mickey sulked through the rest of the store.  
"Is it the scar because you never minded that kind of shit before?". 

"No Mickey. "

"You afraid of hurting me? Because I'm good."

"No Mickey. " 

As soon as the door of the car clicked shut he took another deep breath. 

"So why dont you wanna fuck me?" 

"I just haven't thought about-"

"Bullshit."

Ian sighed turning the car on. "I dont- I don't know-" 

"Well do you want to?" His cheeks burned.

"Yeah of course." Ian sighed driving. The rest of the drive was dead silent. Ian looked like he was in deep thought. While Mickey could feel his impatience grow.

They unloaded the groceries while Debbie, Lip, and Carl put them away. 

Ian grabbed his hand as they silently went upstairs.

He closed the door behind them turning around with his mouth open, he quickly closed it.

"What??"

"I uh I think we should wait." He said looking to the side.

"I knew it, what the fuck is wrong." Mickey crossed his arms over his chest waiting to be told what was wrong with him.

"I don't know Mickey, it's been a stressfull time you just got better, you can't remember stuff... you..almost." Ian stopped like something was stuck in his throat.

"I what."

"It's just hard for me."

"You?? This is hard for you I've had 6 years of my life taken away!" he was fuming. "This isn't about you."

"Of course it's not about me, it's about us. "

"What you don't love me anymore?" He shouted.

"Yes Mickey i love you, of course I love you, it's just going to take some time. My head is always full and I can't just stop-"

Mickey turned around prepared to walk out.

"Mickey stay and talk, stop acting like a kid." Ian was out of patience he could tell by how the last word was spit at him.

"This is who I am, I'm sorry your Mickey isn't here anymore!" He yelled. "I don't even know who I am!"

Ian stepped forward tsken aback. His hand held his chest "But you're my Mickey." His eyebrows furrowed trying to understand. "You're mine." He said confidently.

His head hurt. It was too much. Being expected to be this person. How could he, he didn't even know where to begin. Maybe this life wasn't for him.. 

He walked out the room grabbing a cigarette before slamming the door.

Fresh air did him well. He lit up a cigarette sitting on the porch, his back against the house.

Images of Ian living with him flashed in his mind. He didn't fight them off he relaxed and let them in. 

Ian sharing a cell with him, willing to skip parole. Ian fighting for him, taking care of him, Ian pulling him away from dangerous situations. 

Ian walked out a while later. He sat next to him lighing up his own cigarette. Mickey angled his body away, effectively ignoring him. Their arms brushed while he sat down.

"I'm sorry,"Ian said " I am trying my best."  
Mickey ignored him but he wasn't even mad anymore. He just wanted Ian to understand him. 

"You know.. I thought you were going to die." Ian's voice broke. "I tried to keep it together but the second we got in the ambulance I couldn't." 

Mickey instinctually turned around to face him. His whole charade dropping instantly. 

"You were so close, your heart even stopped."  
Tears streamed down his face. He didn't turn away or try and hide them. Ian was always upfront. He never tried to hide how he was feeling, maybe that's why it hurt so much more.

"They did CPR for exactly one minute, but that was the longest minute of my whole damn life." Ian took a shakey inhale before flicking his cigarette. "Whenever I see your scar or the way you act so distant I'm reminded of it. I see blood all the time but when yours was all over my hands..." 

Ian's face twisted in pain. 

Mickey pulled him in holding him. Ian cried against his shoulder. He stroked his back in circles while he shook against him. He didnt care about the people passing the house glancing over. He didn't care about any of it, he just need to be there and make sure Ian was okay. No matter what...

He never took the time to think about how he could have been seconds away from death. He didn't even remember how it happened. Ian almost watched him die, how could he be so stupid. 

"I'm sorry, I just thought you wanted me to be.. perfect or something. Like the guy you married."

Ian's slowly pulled away wiping his face on his arm. He laughed. "That's what that was for?" 

"You're a dick." Mickey was just happy Ian wasn't crying anymore. 

"You're the person I married, you're perfect, all the versions of you." Mickey couldn't help but blush. "I'm not expecting you to act like none of this happened, I'm just glad your here" Ian grabbed his hand standing up. "With me."


End file.
